Abusive, emotionally unavailable men.
Things have moved on apace, I've been seeing a counselor and joined a group for emotionally abused women. Even though I still find it difficult to think of my OH as an 'abuser'.
I moved out of our bedroom about 2 weeks ago, that has been a great relief, the last time we had sex it was definitely not consensual and I feel much safer one step removed.
He'd not asked at any time why I've moved out or even mentioned it. That was until yesterday when i thought things needed clarifying after a couple of odd comments.
Surprisingly (or not) enough as soon as we'd had the talk, he turned into
- Mr loving you so much it hurts,
- how can you throw away 20 years
- its really not going to be pleasant for the kids
- how can you think I'm not committed, I've been here all the time
- if you came to bed with me you'd see things are OK
This is where it gets hard for me, as all I want is for it to work, but this time I have to remember all the times we've danced these steps and still end up at the same place. We should be able to have a mutually satisfying relationship without it teetering on the edge.
So I'm working on my self esteem and setting good boundaries, but I can feel myself slipping ever so slightly when he tells me he's having trouble sleeping and I can see he wants my company, it's much easier to give in and give him what he wants than it is to stand my ground for what I want.
Categories: Relationship